image
(screensaversymphony.tumblr.com video transcription) On "…Baby One More Time" melody - I need to recharge my social batteries; I've arranged a meeting with Josh. It's on my calendar, so please don't call me when you finish your work—I'll be busy. On "What a Wonderful World" melody - I've had enough work for today. I want to make the most of my free time and do something for myself. The app shows I've already completed 40 minutes of training today. I need to reach 60—I'm almost there. On "Cold Heart" melody - To be honest, what's the point? It's just work, work, work. There's nothing more. I feel like we're being watched by intruders who contribute nothing. On "Wrecking Ball" melody - What did you say? I didn't hear you because I'm trying to log in to the game—I can't miss it because it'll ruin my daily check-in streak. I'm here for the prize, so please don't disturb me; it's important. On "I Have a Dream" melody - I found an app that makes it look like you're working when you're not. They claim it's safe, but they want my data too—including my name and shoe size. Should I try it? Should I try it? On "Whenever, Wherever" melody - Just stop that! Just stop that! No matter what tool you find, you will never escape them. They'll catch you anyway. On "I Should Have Walked Away" melody - You can't be serious. They pay me the bare minimum, so I'll work accordingly. And I won't let anyone spy on me like some weird experiment. On "Sailing" melody - I need to go, I need to go: I forgot my phone reminds me to take a 5-minute walk every hour for my health.
Moderator 2 months ago
image
I get a call from the manager, the general manager. The conversation lasts 10 minutes. I speak for 2 minutes. The most important words: You are not creative, you don't smile, you don't give anything from yourself. The place where you work is on the level and you can't just work. You have to give 200% of yourself. Sacrifice a break and stay longer at the end of the day. It's not about you, you're just not creative. You don't think about what you're doing. I failed to persevere there. For additional description:. lowest country salary and terrible conditions of stay, free once every two weeks (one day), contractual agreement.
Holiday job 2 months ago
image
The most sublime bullshit of capitalism: if you turn what you love into work, you'll never work a day. Not only will you overwork, but you'll also subject yourself to self-exploitation that surpasses any standards outlined in labor laws. This way, you'll become a textbook example of this system's useful idiot, its wet dream.
Self employed designer 2 months ago
image
Once upon a grind, I got lost in rhyme, At work, I spun verse, lost track of time. Two days slipped by, tasks left undone, Playing busy, crafting lines, having fun. No guilt, no shame, in that poetic spree, Work's a prison, don't you see? Why dance to the tune of the corporate game, When freedom's just a daydream, what a shame? Cooperation with the guard, not my style, In this 9-to-5 jail, I won't reconcile. The system's a warden, but I won't comply, Rather chase dreams 'neath an open sky. In the grip of commodification's hand, Injustice thrives across the land. In a fairer world, a different hue, We'd toil less, and dreams pursue. Two days a week, that'd be the deal, But in this rat race, that dream's not real.
Former sales manager 2 months ago
image
Sometimes doing art feels like a battlefield. A conflict of interests that initiates yet never finishes. The one that lasts for ages, all of your ages. There are days I get surrounded by ideas so tightly that there is no air left in the room for me to breathe. I try to open windows, doors and cabinets to make more space for us. But the space gets corrupted and bloated, which starts to hurt my stomach. Ideas get so dense, so heavy, I feel them in the weight of steps and wrists that get swollen. There were times when my defense was stronger, when I had lust and energy to conquer them all at once and harvest yield. Now I allow them to dominate me. Letting go of productivity. I become submissive to their touch, textures, noises and edges as they develop. As it is always difficult to surrender, I use a method know to animal world and forgotten by humans. Waiting. I lie flat on the battelfield, melting in smell of opened glues and paints. I felt my hair with floor found needels that I never step on. Making bubbles from saliva as big as my fists. I clipp my nails and cut off the smallest threads that grew onto my clothes. I allow the ideas to reach the insanity that comes with power. They look at me tempting. I observe them climbing onto the corners of everpainted warps, falling into pots of pine resin, hanging from the hooks in the ceiling, just between the yarns. With no guilt I'm waiting for them to get bored, as the best tactic to win the battle is to not start it at all.
Experience designer and weed fairy 2 months ago
image
Since I've learned how to crochet and knit that's all I'm doing at my work!!! Sometimes I'm not even noticing sb is inside my bakery lol..
behind the bar 2 months ago
image
I'm always late for my work. My manager is so aware of it, that he used to call me every time before my morning shift to wake me up. The hero we don't deserve but we all need
alarm clock whisperer 2 months ago
image
I lied to an online shady doctor to recive a sick note while smoking a cig in toilet in train to Warsaw. I even kept an old thermometer photo that i took when i actually had fever and showed to him as a proof. It worked.
smoking feels 2 months ago
image
i used to work at restaurant i tried to broke my arm with hammer then i decided to not work there, but not after that, i did that after i imagined throwing myself from stairs a thousand times, after laughing with my coworkers every day, eating good food, crying, talking to people i love, vomiting, getting praised, gossiping, being loved, getting dumped and being comforted by the waitress, after letting older lady pray for me while hugging me, after talking about our fathers with my friend, after hearing from my boss that im amazing, after wanting to go and run, after making money, after not seeing any way out, after knowing that every single day i need to go to the hospital, after being happy, after being listened to, after knowing that i made connections that will last a lifetime
cinema worker cinema greeter i work with people i let my brain melt i work with movies with nothin in my head 2 months ago
image
Slept through my all my online classes in 2021 crushed by depression. I had to be a student to get insurance and alimony. I knew I couldn't work or study with my mental health. I regret nothing
Student 2 months ago
image
The startup owner constantly complains that he has to save money and that financing is running out to avoid talking about raises. So instead of asking for an increase in my hourly rate, I prefer to simply report more hours than I actually worked. Thanks to this, I feel like I'm the boss :) Hourly billing is the holy grail of freelancing.
UX 2 months ago
image
My spine refused obedience to every movement, and the pain in my back flowed like a stream of tears. It was like dancing on the edge of a knife, where each step felt like a hammer blow to my internal organs. I felt every bone in my body melting like wax in the sun, and my skin was perpetually bruised. The everyday routine was a battle with pain, pretending that everything was fine just to lift heavy packages. I preferred to escape to the warehouse, where I could be alone, where no one saw my tears, where I could breathe in silence. There, in the coolness, I could find a moment of relief, even when the air outside was thick and stifling from the summer heat. And in the place where price stickers were applied, there were no cameras, allowing me a brief respite. Taking a cigarette break became my refuge, allowing me to detach from reality, if only for a moment. I had been a smoker for as long as I could remember, but during those summer months of work, I found myself smoking a million times more.
From Warehouse With Love 2 months ago
image
I'm trying to recreate the Wojak meme here instead of doing the shit
interdyscyplinary worker 2 months ago
image
Setting up a gossip club and making up love stories and romances between co-workers
Project Coordinator 2 months ago
image
Well. I never felt good about any payed job i ever had because of my boses. I'm my own boss now and i'm sure that i never before produced better work than now. I'm also overworked a lot i feel. I don't know guys, life is hard any way. So do good, be smart and good luck!
CEO 2 months ago
image
I was once called in for a disciplinary conversation because, according to the owners/bosses, I was negatively impacting the morale of other employees. They told me not to complain about customer behavior in front of junior colleagues: 'We can mock them among ourselves, but don't do it in front of the young ones.' That was the first time I felt the conspiracy of silence about how crappy things were and the necessity to pretend everything was fine. Interestingly, the requirement for positivity didn't extend to the owners of the company. There, I could be my true, sarcastic self. The next day when I came to work, a younger colleague started the day by mocking emails he received from a client. He was expecting me to join in with something similar. Unfortunately, I had to stay silent. I felt like I had sold my soul to the devil. I couldn' look him in the eye. I told my then-partner, who was the head of the HR department, about it. She simply said, 'I also implemented a ban on complaining about clients. XDDDD
Senior Coward 3 months ago
image
I stop doing what I 'supposed' to do, I start doing things my way, I am unkind and spiteful, you can see everything from my face because I can't hide it
I won't 3 months ago
I wake up and go to sleep right after.
Zzz.. 3 months ago
I open my eyes and browse social medias in the same order for years: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and TikTok. Who uses Facebook in 2024?
internet expert 3 months ago
When I was 12 yo, I wanted to be like Hannah Montana. So imagine my despair when, at 15, I wasn't famous. I couldn't sing, but I always wanted to. I wanted to sing, dance, be pretty, write and make my own songs, do everything myself. Unluckily, I'm terribly lazy. Either I use others or I don't let anyone take any part in my works. The fact is that I am a spoiled only child, whose mother still brings breakfast in bed. My hardest and probably only responsibility as a kid was to say hello to my father. I lived without limits, I had what I wanted and to this day I always get what I want. I don't just have a career like Hannah Montana. I gave up and went to study Fine Arts.
Best of both worlds 3 months ago
We look at the work in class - mine is not good enough. As a consolation, the lecturer will say that "it could be better". Someone will mention a book and I will feel bad because I haven't read much and it makes me feel stupid. Someone used a wise word and I am rephrasing my statement to use an even wiser one. Someone came up with an idea and I kick myself for not thinking of it sooner. Constantly competitive and feeling inadequate. I can't feel guilty that I didn't do something because I'm always the first one to put it in the folder. And still I feel guilty that it could have been better. Certainly someone worked harder, or someone is more creative.
Fine Arts 3 months ago
My boss didn't want to hire me, saying that I didn't smile on my CV. While of course, this is just a fragment of the conversation taken out of context, it stuck in my head that this smile, this artificial enthusiasm, is supposed to be an indicator... ? of diligence? So I feel guilty when I'm sad and complaining. Everyone says I complain a lot and I should focus on the positives. This whole text is complaining. You can't complain. We can only focus on the positives. Even when things are bad, we should pretend that things are good, not show our weaknesses and not look for sympathy or just attention. We have to keep it inside. Nobody cares how you feel.
:( 3 months ago
image
In my work, small disobediences are essential. I spend 8 hours there every day, sometimes also on Saturdays, and I actually do everything I want here (of course, these are things unrelated to work) and I get paid for it. Below is a list of things I do at work: reading books (lots of books, completely unrelated to what I do) watching movies - when I'm alone I watch long films, I like the ones about female rage the most, when I work with a friend, we watch something on YouTube every day;) running my errands in the city - there is nothing that I cannot handle while networking meetings with friends - coffee on a bench on a sunny day? I cordially invite you crocheting, painting my nails, writing in my favorite notebook sometimes (of course only SOMETIMES ;))) I go out early without telling anyone, it's my sweet secret
the tiger I want to be 3 months ago
image
Being high af and sleeping
Hotel Receptionist 3 months ago
image
I was reading the news and doing my hobby stuff. I'm late with my job but don't know how to start doing it. It was so stressful for me. Finally I broke my blockages and started to do proper things, but not enough fast and accurate.
Urban Designer 7 months ago
image
Just moved to Vienna to new uni because I could not afford staying in the uni at the Netherlands. Really wanna meet new people but I am so burned out and it makes me angry and sad that I am not the same person again I was a year ago just meeting thousand people per week and having energy to socialize.
Designer 8 months ago
image
Setting up an exhibition for another artist, trying to recreate a vision that is not my own.
Deigner 8 months ago
image
Without peace in ourselves, there can't be peace in the world.
PERSON 9 months ago
image
I do literally nothing and than i am super fucking stressed because i am in the deep ass YESSSS
Graphic Designer 9 months ago
image
I wish I didn't have to be on the gram, but the pressure of having to be there to show my work confuses me. I am process oriented and I want it all for mysel
Artist 10 months ago
image
connecting with strangers i don't know on LinkedIn
miffy 1 year ago
image
surfing are.na, in advance of more surfing the web when i get home. thinking more about what i want to make for my practice than what i want to produce for work. surfing the World Wide Web and thinking on company time.
content coordinator 1 year ago
image
imma be honest finding this website rn was a such a prizeeee! ive been feeling so unmotivated and i wanna do stuff but i feel so lazy how am i gonna get rid of thisssss!
boredom 1 year ago
image
Looking on in awe as super visors get angry at you for overstepping them even though they cannot and will not make your colleagues work so you must work or else everyone will return to the office instead of staying online, so, everyone will suffer equally, so I let calls and client tickets drop off in a round-robin fashion. No one answers them.
System's Manager 1 year ago
image
ive been looking too much at the screen, my eyes hurt!!!
multimedia artist 1 year ago
image
love discovering new things when i should be workin
virtual assistant 1 year ago
I thing I'm out of my place in work. I am working Product Designer, but my team is not talking with me. They thing, that research is stupid. I thing I do something is wrong
work.... 1 year ago
image
I can't sleep well due to jet lag when I'm abroad
Designer 1 year ago
image
I am love to see this website.
Graphic Designer 1 year ago
Oh what didn't I do! I watch Netflix, cook, online shop for hours, watch YouTube documentaries, masturbate, go for coffee, argue with my girlfriend, make up with my girlfriend, plan trips, scroll TikTok, clean, do laundry, nap. But you know what? It made me fucking depressed. Sometime I don't leave my house for 6-8 days in a row. Paradoxically I feel way better when I go to the office and talk to those people that I don't really like but at least the hate the job as much as I do and we can all complain together. So that's that.
Software Developer 1 year ago
image
Clicking in the computer
Designer 1 year ago
image
Naughty stuff
Academic Lecturer 1 year ago
image
I'm trying to create my fictional world while working so I'm surfing arena and collecting pictures. Also I drew some diagrams about my world as well
Pro-duck designer 2 years ago
image
We need to mention the 'best of' every end of the day in the team checkout. its toxic positivity thats why I said my 'best of' is that the meeting is over now. At least I was being honest, unlike the rest.
Design Consultant 2 years ago
image
Vibing with music, reading books, studying for exam and working! Loving the life!!
Community Building Coordinator 2 years ago
image
Making french toast, playing RuneScape, smoking a joint in bed.
Software Engineer 2 years ago
image
My friend and I realized today that we are stealing personalities from each other but we can't tell who originated what. When will it end? What will he steal next? My unique pattern of heartbeats?
Friend 2 years ago
image
My only job is to make phone calls and I haven't been doing shit because I prefer to do nothing.
Salesperson 3 years ago
image
I am the rock dwayne johnson sometimes its hard to be this immaculate :(
WWE Wrestler 3 years ago
image
Since I have a two screens now at my home office - I can be on a meeting on one, but on the second one I am doing more important stuff or other tasks ;) Feel goooooood about it ;)
Designer - a creative one ;) 3 years ago
image
Eating a lot at work. "Forbidden For Employees Food" as well.
Falafel Fryer 3 years ago
image
Doing fat lines while on mute, cooking, going to boxing, riding my bike around the lake, hitting up the liquor store, riding my motorcycle (got my license back on the company dime too, lord bless the DMV).
Project Manager 3 years ago
image
Wistfully zooming around in google maps imagining a world in which all of the disused railway lines around me are converted into public transit.
Web Developer 3 years ago
I've lost all interest in my formerly dream job, so I'm doing the minimum necessary to make it seem like I give the slightest fuck until I can afford to be unemployed for a few months
Engineer 3 years ago
I’ve been getting extremely baked and then losing blitz chess for 30% of working hours over the last month and a half.
data scienctist 3 years ago
image
Sometimes, my job is so chaotic that nobody notices if you do almost nothing for a day or two, as long as you show up to daily meetings. One time, I read a whole book about dog training even though I don't own a dog. I spent an hour yesterday going through an online museum.
Software Developer 3 years ago
image
Our office is located inside an abandoned warehouse and we play football during (but not limited to) lunch breaks.
Developer 3 years ago
image
My job is all about optimizing stuff. So I optimized my work-avoidance routines. Fake meetings where I'm alone and I'm actually spreading leftist memes on the internet, wrong estimates to dig out entire weeks of free/low pace work, scolding managers for setting up too many meetings and impacting my productivity. I could go on for days, but it's time for my afternoon nap.
Programmer 3 years ago
I masturbate on company hours not necessarily out of being horny, but for the sheer amusement of being paid for jerking off.
Corporate Drone 3 years ago
Sometimes I say that I have to make some research for visuals, but in fact, I'm watching porn.
Video Artist 3 years ago
When I had a permanent job managers had access to your calendar, and so could decide your schedule for you at any point, at a moment's notice. I discovered it was possible to email yourself an invite to a meeting, and it would show up as a 1 to 1 with a third party, meaning management would leave you alone... so you could actually get on with some work...
Freelancer 3 years ago
I've been going to second-hand shops or to buy yerba mate, not telling anyone I'm going for a break. Also, I often give my partner a blowjob during my working hours. Love working from home XD
Social media and PR Coordinator 3 years ago
image
At yesterday's meeting, very long and pointless, I pretended that I was taking notes, when in fact I was doodling WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE. Yeah, two hours of unnecessary bullshit that they could write in one email.
Social Media Manager (very sad one) 3 years ago
image
I didn't answer the phone from the client, I wrote a text message that I would call back later because I have a meeting. In fact, I was watching the last episode of Batwoman on HBO.
Freelance Designer 3 years ago
image
In my previous job, I was booking the meeting room for having a nap after lunch. Worked well every time.
Project Manager 3 years ago
Sometimes I sit down on my sofa for lunch and I don't get up again till dinner.
Freelancer 3 years ago
Often I would switch my phone to silent mode (so that no one among my workmates, and especially my boss, realises that it's ringing) and intentionally not answer the incoming calls from French speaking customers, and then call them back in a suitable moment. There were two main reasons why I would do this: first, nobody at the office knew French. People tend to fear the opposite: that the others listen to what you're saying and judge it - so it may sound silly but I felt rather guilty and embarrassed that they couldn't understand a thing! The second reason seems less paranoid: I procrastinated in some way to feel "readier" for the call, plus wanted to be considered as someone who is always busy but, at the same time, who always calls back :D
Account manager 3 years ago
During endless zoom meetings, I draw for hours, and nod every now and then. I find it very relaxing.
Graduate Designer 3 years ago
image
When there is a meeting that I don't want to attend, I'm 5-10 minutes late and say the previous meeting was longer than expected. There was no prior meeting.
Designer 3 years ago
I was working for a freelance graphic designer at her place. When she'd left for her yoga classes, I would sometimes quickly go down the street and get a piece of Pão de Lo, (a portuguese cake) from my favorite pastry right on the corner.
Graphic Designer 3 years ago
image
In my last job I was paid by the hour. Sometimes I would go to the ice cream machine on the groundfloor and took exactly as long it would need to get the ice cream for 'free'.
Blended Learning Specialist 3 years ago
Go out to smoke a cigarette every 2 hours / Spend 2 hours per day on Vinted instead of working and actually buying things / send memes to my coworkers to make them laugh and procrastinating with me
Community manager assistant 3 years ago
While i work from home my goal is to make This day just like a sunday. I Wake up 10 minutes earlier and while i open my laptop i prepare a big breakfast, and answer one or two emails before preparing myslef. I work but mixing personal and profesional like makes me feel that im not wasting my time. It’s what im about to do ! Bye !
Assistant communication 3 years ago
It's a co-worker friend's story, who while muted on Zoom often pretends to be yawning (with their hand covering their mouth) but actually screams loudly behind their hand :) I can very much relate to that. And very tempted to try this on meetings.
Designer 3 years ago
Watching Netflix
Bar tender 3 years ago
image
sleeping during work
SEO Specialist 3 years ago
Print some off my personnal documents
Graphic designer 3 years ago
I made myself busy with logistics and going to the post office (all work related) just to get away from having to work on my laptop. Online collaboration (Zoom and Miro) are often really challenging and I fell that I end up being less productive at the end of the day. I need to use these small “tricks” just to get some fresh air - and I infect do better work afterwards
Design Researcher 3 years ago
After a very long day on Zoom I felt that my brain was not working and it just felt physically painful to sit there and listen. My eyes, my brain my ears (from that zoom sound) hurt. I faked bad connection and went for an hour walk in the park. It helped me to push through that day - obviously I was working overtime , but getting fresh air was just really to help survive.
Designer 3 years ago
Saying that I have bad internet connection so that I can turn off Zoom camera (when I am already completely brain dead after the 3rd Zoom in a row) and do some cooking while listening to a very long meeting. This actually turned out to be more focused and productive because I could move my body and think in the same time.
Designer 3 years ago
Avoiding silly small talks in the kitchen, messing up with Time tracking app, going to Żabka 5 times a day just to buy some random snack whenever I'm fed up with my work colleagues
Junior Project Manager 3 years ago
Every week, I am given a list of products on Google sheets for which I’m paid to write short press releases. I am paid a small amount for each ‘blurb’ I write, which usually amounts to £200-£300 a month. Every so often, more money than I am owed will appear in my account. The last time this happened, I received close to an extra £100 on top of my usual amount. When this happens, I simply say nothing and keep it.
Freelance Copywriter 3 years ago
image
Picking crusts of my psoriasis coated elbows and inspecting the flakes.
Artist 3 years ago
image
Taking unnecessarily long breaks, especially for petting my dog.
Owner of the Agency 3 years ago
image
Not doing some of the manual labour asked of me. Ie. sweeping/cleaning poorly.
Child Care Worker 3 years ago
image
Avoiding all social events at all costs
Content Analyst 3 years ago
fire zone